Cherish the hearts of your clients.

There have been many times when I would have a hard day in the sense that my clients would recount their stories of severe trauma or how they were severely hurt by another’s malicious hand. Oftentimes during these sessions, I encounter the tears of my clients. In these moments they express their deep rooted shame and many times, in cases of trauma or interpersonal emotionally distressing experiences, they disclose significant self-blame and criticism they cast upon themselves. In these moments I strive to become attuned to my clients’ experiences and be present; peer into their broken hearts and see something immensely beautiful and valuable. Oh, what painful yet beautiful sessions these come to be.

It was a day such as these when I was deeply moved and needed to take time for “self-care” so that when I was home I could be attentive to my family. I decided to process the session on my porch, sitting in my rocking chair, enjoying the cool and bitter taste of a beer, and praying to God. What moved me and pained me deeply that day was how I witnessed true and profound brokenness and shame. Yet, this ignited a small flame of appreciation, an awareness of how honored and privileged I am as a counselor that my clients invite me into the secret places of their hearts, the broken places, the places they keep hidden from the world and at times from themselves. Why do they do it? Why does anyone let another into such darkness? 

I took time to listen and observe and give witness to something truly amazing and profound. During my reflection on my porch, I came to realize that with my clients I see through the pain and give witness to great courage, beauty, and hope. Maybe I was able to see such glory because I first chose to gaze upon my client’s pain and suffering and be moved instead of being avoidant or seeing a problem to be fixed right away. 

I believe it’s significantly important to learn how to properly and authentically feel with your clients in a way that allows you to sit with them, see them holding their hearts in your hands, and witness goodness. Never leave a session without allowing yourself to look upon your client and see their goodness and potential as a person, to see their heart within, and cherish their heart. In witness of such reality, they too will learn to do the same.