Take it slow. You expressed excitement about having a session with a client who was suffering from depression and anxiety. Throughout the initial session, you were able to identify particular themes; the client’s lack of self-confidence and their inability to receive love from themselves and others. Your client believed that they are not deserving of love due to their lack of self – worth. You immediately were able to identify what tools, skills, and exercises you would use based on past experiences with other cases. I applaud you for your intuition and your skill in being able to pick up themes quickly and assert a plan of action. Being able to identify themes is such a vital skill for a therapist. 

With that said, I want to motivate you to be intentionally aware of the skill to listen.You may experience the tendency to jump into the exercise and get the process going. However, doing so will prevent you from getting to know the person sitting in front of you.  Noticing the problem, recognizing the themes, and understanding the process is not the same as knowing the person. View them not as a problem to fix but as a person to really see and to get to know. Who are they? What are their hopes and dreams? What are their greatest fears and shameful mistakes? What are their strengths, their gifts, and talents? In getting to know your client, learn to ask questions that are off the beaten path. Don’t just ask questions to gain information on the client or to lead them into insight, but when appropriate ask them questions about themselves and who they are.  You get to know the person rather than just the problem when you allow yourself to pay close attention and hear what they have to say. I encourage you to not only try to listen to the themes or problems but concentrate on the song of their heart; what are they truly sharing about themselves? I invite you to listen with sincerity, empathy, and love. Learn to cherish these moments of windows to their souls. Learn to cherish your clients. 

As therapists, we tend to mistakenly see ourselves as the ones with the answers, the ones who can help fix the problem. Instead, I invite you to see yourself as a companion to your clients on their journey. Get to know the traveler, not just their destination.